


Ways to Win a Bet

by oopshidaisy



Series: seducing norse gods for fun and profit [2]
Category: Marvel 616, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Gen, Humor, M/M, Steve Goes Through So Much, Team Bonding, Tony's Unfortunate Habit of Sleeping with Villains, tony is a human disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22437367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oopshidaisy/pseuds/oopshidaisy
Summary: It's not the worst phone call anyone's ever gotten at 2am, but it has to be a contender.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Series: seducing norse gods for fun and profit [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614547
Comments: 29
Kudos: 211





	Ways to Win a Bet

**Author's Note:**

> i keep my promises

The call comes at two in the morning, about six minutes after Steve has managed to fall asleep. The ringtone is Guns N Roses, _Sympathy for the Devil_. He groans with the weight of the knowledge of who’s calling him.

“Tony,” he says, as firm an Avengers Leader voice as he can manage with the gravel of sleep still clogging his throat, “now is _not_ the time. Unless someone’s in danger. Is someone in danger?”

“No. You owe me an endorsement for the Anvil. And no newspaper crap, either: I want you in a commercial.” Tony sounds a little manic, but not significantly worse than he usually does at two am.

“Endorsement? Oh, is this about the Loki thing?” It’s been good for team morale, the competition to find out who Loki flirts with the most, although as far as Steve knows Loki’s been AWOL for months. He wracks his brain. “I thought he disappeared after, you know…”

“World takeover attempt number four-hundred-and-thirty-six? No dice. He does house calls now.”

“Tony, are you okay?”

“Um. Yeah. Fine. He’s basically house-trained now; I just wanted to tell you I won the bet.”

“At two in the morning?” Steve supposes it makes sense, for Tony. “Wait, I thought we were waiting for the end of the year to tally up the points. What happened?”

“Doesn’t matter. There’s no way you’re gonna get more points than me, and the Anvil’s public launch is in a couple of weeks away.”

Steve sighs, wondering when his life got to a point where he takes the validity of flirting competitions seriously. “Peter made a spreadsheet. You don’t get any points unless at least three Avengers agree on the legitimacy of your claim. You _know_ this. Didn’t we just have the arbitration on whether being tied up by him counts?”

“Isleptwithhim,” Tony squeaks.

Steve takes the phone away from his ear, stares at it, and puts it back.

“Sorry, I’m going to need you to repeat that.”

“I definitely win, because I had sex with him,” Tony says, slower. “Now will you _please_ do my car commercial?”

“I think we need to call an Avengers meeting,” Steve says weakly.

“Or we could not do that.”

“Tony, I think it is very important for us to sit down and lay out our policy on sleeping with supervillains.”

“I’ve done it before!” Tony pauses, as though realizing that doesn’t exactly help his point. “I don’t think he’s technically a supervillain anymore? There’s a whole body swap magic situation going on. Ask Thor about it.”

“I’m not telling Thor you had sex with his brother.”

The other end of the line goes very silent.

“…Do you think he’ll find out?”

Steve rubs at his temple with his free hand. “It is my official recommendation that you tell Thor what you did to – with – his brother. You know what keeping secrets does to this team.” A horrifying thought occurs to him. “Are you planning on doing it again? Are you _dating_ Loki?”

“No!” Tony says. “Well, I don’t know! Maybe? You’ve got to admit there’s a certain appeal to being intergalactic enemies with benefits.”

“No, Tony, there is no appeal to that.”

“Oh, he also asked to join the Avengers,” Tony says. “I told him no, but I figure you want to be kept in the loop about membership applications.”

Steve’s head sinks into his hand.

“We really do need to have a meeting about this,” he says. “God help us all.”

**Author's Note:**

> come hang out with me @[morgans-starks](https://morgans-starks.tumblr.com/) on tumblr or on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/oopshidaisy)


End file.
